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“I Love You, Mom”…Finally! November 17, 2008

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, Parenting, special needs, Uncategorized.
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It took 6 years, 8 months and 2 days. But the day finally came. And it was so worth the wait.

‘C’ finally said, “I love you, Mom.”

Without any prompting, coaxing, or set-up. Not in response to my saying I love him. Completely spontaneously and out of the blue. 

I’d imagined this moment for years. I figured it’d happen almost predictably, while snuggling up somewhere together. But, instead, it came as a jubilant outburst of affection right in the middle of the foyer. Followed by a running leap that could topple a professional linebacker. But not me. I had found the strength of 10 grinches linebackers…plus 2.

It was all that I imagined it’d be…and more. Some things are truly worth the wait.

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Comments»

1. athenivandx - November 17, 2008

hooray!!!!!!!!

I’m happy for you. I bet he’s been thinking that for 4 years at least…….before the words came out.

Be mindful of how much you praise him though…….not because he doesn’t deserve it, but because as an autistic person myself, I can tell you that we (autistics) are often confused by alot of praise, and it makes us anxious and likely to avoid behaviors that result in lots of praise.

The reason is……..too much attention, whether good or bad. We cannot always sort out the good attention from the bad……it’s all just……too much for our brains to handle. Every autistic person reacts differently…….but just keep that in mind.

You can celebrate with your son in ways that don’t put him in the spotlight so to speak……let him have extra time with his special interests…..even if some of them annoy you (not suggesting they do, I don’t know…..)

Congratulations to you and your son!

BTW, I found your blog via my tag surfer function.

The Integral

2. hopeauthority - November 17, 2008

Thanks so much for your very helpful insights! I love to hear from autistic people. I picture you as the voice my son doesn’t yet have and really value your input.

I’ve often thought my son did not like overwhelming praise and you’ve just confirmed it for me. My son almost shuts down on the spot when people go wild about something he does. He is obviously uncomfortable with the attention.

Thanks again for telling me (and other parents) something we needed to know.

3. athenivandx - November 18, 2008

You’re most welcome……I have linked to a few other blogs in my blogroll……blogs of other autistic people…….they’re very good as well, and they’ve been around for longer than I’ve been blogging…..

You have to arm yourself with the right information about autism……it’s given a very negative and false image in mainstream media and society…….look up Jenny Carthy and you’ll see what I mean…….she believes that vaccines cause autism, and uses her celebrity status to whip up frustrated parents into a frenzy so to speak……by spreading false propaganda. This might seem like a very extreme suggestion, but unfortunately it’s true.

Ivan and The Integral

4. HeatherPride - November 19, 2008

That is truly amazing. Congrats!

5. Good Fountain - November 22, 2008

What a wonderful experience for you! Yay!!

And many thanks to Athenivandx for the insight about too much praise, too much attention. That fits my daughter to a T. I have learned to just say that something makes me very happy and that I’m proud, with out showing much emotion beyond a smile. Anything beyond that and I get the opposite effect.


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