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The Punch Heard ‘Round the Neighborhood January 17, 2009

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism.
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Ya know when you’ve really reached the end of your rope? The last nerve? The final straw?

I’m talking about the absolute end at the edge of the cliff where you’re hanging over this black abyss and are ready to jump. You are at the point where you just want to scream and punch something.  You have had it. Had. It. 

But something happens to pull you back from the brink. Maybe the scream gets out, but the punch doesn’t. It just never gets out. And when you calm down, you wonder what it’d be like if you ever really just let it out. And the thought scares you.

I’ve been there. Often.

But not today. Nope. This morning started out with such promise. Lots of fun things planned for the family…which is rare for us. Starting with my hot shower.

Then in a split second… dumb ass me put my fist through the bathroom window. No fist of fury. Just a sleep-deprived mom in a drafty bathroom attempting to coax a frozen window open so I could see if the storm window behind it was closed. Can anyone tell me what the hell I was thinking by punching a frozen glass window? Anyone at all?

Fast forward ahead to the horror movie scene that ensued. Wrist gash hits a vein. There is no way I am going to the hospital. Somehow I am going salvage my day’s plans without adding any white coats to the picture. And I want my freakin shower too.

Sometimes it really is all about who you know. Like my cousin the plastic surgeon who lives about 5 minutes away. And happened to be home. So I took my shower. Yes, I took the one-handed shower first.  And got my bloody wrist over to the “Dumb Ass Free Clinic” for some quality medical care. Some surgical super glue and I was ready to roll.

I couldn’t help but think about how I would’ve been interrogated by hospital personnel if I’d have had to go to the ER today. I probably would’ve been subjected to some kind of psyche evaluation too. And who knows how the heck that would’ve gone…  So I am very grateful that I avoided all that drama.

But I feel jipped too…

I can’t believe I punched my hand through a pane glass window by accident! All those times I imagined doing something dramatic like that to release the tension of any number of stressful moments…but I held back. 

Really, you’d think that all that blood and glass could’ve been put to better use.  I feel like such a doofus.

So, the question is: In your most sleep-deprived moment, what “dumb ass” thing did you do?

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Comments»

1. corematters - January 18, 2009

jeez, my dumb ass moments don’t usually involve self-destruction. i aim for larger targets. just last week, after it had sat used, for about a week, on the stove, i washed my cast iron pannini pan–it’s got a separate lid–and put it on the stove, on low, to dry. and naturally forgot about it as i passed out in bed a few minutes later…around midnight, the smoke detectors started wailing…and yes, all the old oil–what we call “seasoning” on cast iron–had pretty much burned off in the form of SMOKE…so here we were at midnight opening windows (it’s 28 degrees, of course)…back doors…trying to figure out (balanced on questionable “stools”) if we could turn off any of the fricking 3 smoke detectors that were blowing out our eardrums (we couldn’t….they turned off after 3 really really long minutes), then i tried to pull the pan off the stove w/my little potholders and wound up dropping the lid on the hardwood floor–then imagined the floor catching fire and wondering if the insurance would cover it cuz we realllllllly need to re-do this 17 year old kitchen….
i guess i should also confess i’m always doing shit like this in the kitchen….heating up the oil to fry something, leaving the room (always frowned upon in the directions), and the next thing i know, smoke detectors are wailing….
so you think it’s sleep-deprivation? i’ll buy that….cuz i remember when i was pregnant and i was doing stuff like making coffee without the coffee grounds, brushing my teeth with face cream from a tube..so i’m really liking this sleep-deprivation idea….

2. hopeauthority - January 19, 2009

Ok. Here’s the plan…
You figure out what you need to burn down the 17 year old kitchen. Then you let me know so I can duplicate the dumb ass moment in my own 19 year old kitchen.

But it can’t involve Brussel Sprouts or anything green and healthy, or the fraud police will nail me for sure.


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