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Adventures with Mr. Gutter Mouth March 6, 2009

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, humor, Parenting.
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I knew it would happen someday. 

The thing about talking …or swearing…in front of kids is that they soak it all up like a sponge. And don’t kid yourself about those cute little non-verbal autistic kids who seem to be in their own little worlds. Little sponges, I tell you.

Remember this one thing: Just because they aren’t talking, doesn’t mean they aren’t  listening. They understand more than you realize. And your day is coming. Mark my words. It’s coming sooner than you think.

So, the politely vague note comes home from the teacher’s aide (who is, like, 14 years old or something) and it says Fabio “had a ‘slip’ and they ignored it”. So, dope that I am, I am thinking my kid fell down and they left him there. Then it goes on and says something about writing neatly and a ‘slip’ again. WTF? So I politely write back that I don’t understand what they are saying, please clarify.

Apparently, unbeknownst to me, the code word for a curse/swear/bad word is a ‘slip’. Ohhhhhh….I get it now. So the details of the exchange were as follows:

Teacher’s aide: “Fabio, you need to rewrite this assignment. It is not neat enough.”

Fabio (begrudgingly rewriting it, replies): “Son of a bitch…”

Look, I’m a bad mom. I admit it. I laughed at the picture in my mind. Do I want him to go around cursing? Of course not. But I am not going to have a fit over an occasional ‘slip’. Especially when used in perfect context!

What did bug me was the note that came home with the details from this doe-eyed youth of a teacher’s aide. She had whited-out the following addition: “He did NOT learn that at school, for sure.” (Yes, I read the back of the page and could easily see what she meant to conceal!)

I’m not proud to report that I sent in a note today figuratively ripping her a new one over that comment. I told her it was out of line. I told her almost every parent and every kid, typical or not, curses on occasion. I told her that since she is not a parent much less a parent of a kid with autism, she most definately was out of line in judging me.

Then I added that I know he didn’t learn it at school because he learned it from me. I told her she could also hear an occasional “Goddamnit”, so she’d better brace herself for it.

I explained that during the SIX YEARS  I waited and worried for Fabio to find his voice, I promised myself that…if only he would speak… I would never tell him to be quiet. That even a bad word would be a good sound to my ears.

She called me first thing this morning to apologize for the misunderstanding, which I really appreciated. I believe she learned something important today about perspective. Something she can use in the remaining zillion years of her teaching career since she is just starting out. 

That and that you can still read whited-out text from the back of the page. Well… son of a bitch!


Note to friends and followers: My 100th post is very close. In keeping with tradition, I am considering making it a post answering any questions…tasteful of course…that you may have about me. So if there’s anything you want to know that you don’t already, let me know.



1. FXSmom - March 7, 2009

lol…i got a call from Matt’s teachers on day that he was yelling “Fuckers” down the hall. And THEY took the blame! They were talking about the restaurant Fuddruckers. And well Matty doesn’t ever listen to everything someone says. So he got all excited. “Fuckers is good. I like Fuckers. Mmmm….Fuckers!” And the more they tried to correct him the more he said it and the louder he got. It was great. Cuz this time…it wasn’t my fault…lol.

hopeauthority - March 7, 2009

Thank God I’m not alone in thinking how funny this stuff is! Love the fuckers story! I hope everyone shares their best ones!

2. tiredmama - March 7, 2009

Too funny! Our day hasn’t come yet, but I’m sure it will. I try to watch what I say (especially around the kids), but when there is crap all over the room I’m known to “sh*t” or drop an f-bomb. My day will come. Thanks for sharing your day. I had to share this with my husband, and, just too funny!

3. tiredmama - May 2, 2009

So, our day came. Thankfully at home. My son had been taking a bath and pooed in the tub. After I placed him on the toilet and started to gather cleaning supplies, he started saying, “Oh sh*t. Oh sh*t.” My husband walked in and I had to ask him if our son was saying what I thought he was saying. Yep. We decided that it sounded enough like “ocean” that if he ever started saying this in public we would claim that he was talking about the deep seas. 😉

hopeauthority - May 2, 2009

Oh, my good friend…
He most certainly WILL say it again sometime in public.

And on that momentous occasion, I’ll wager a bet that the words will roll right off his tongue…as clear as those deep blue seas you will so lamely try to cover them up with.

I can hear the laughter already!

(Just remember: All language from a non-verbal kid is good. Really. It’s a rule or something…)

4. tiredmama - May 4, 2009

At least it was appropriate — I mean, he was looking at sh*t as he said it. He doesn’t poo away from home (yet), so maybe we won’t have to “ocean” in public for awhile…

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