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Autism and the Assumption of Inconvenience April 26, 2009

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Parenting, religion.
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5 comments

I call it the “Assumption of Inconvenience”.

You’ve all likely experienced it already. Often. But if not, you will. Oh, you will.

It comes into play when there’s an event, holiday, or a function of some importance… being hosted by friends or family with whom you may actually have a good relationship… that you so righteously expect to be invited to.

But… the invite never comes.

WTF?, you ask.

This just happened to hubby and me …again… this week.

In this latest situation, I innocently asked my good friend Rose on Wednesday when she came to pick up her freakin dog that I dog-sat for (more on that later) when her daughter…our Goddaughter…was making her Confirmation.

She replied: “Monday”.

As in tomorrow.

Ummm, were you ever even going to tell me?

These are really close friends. They “get” the autism thing better than anyone we know. We love them and their kids and the feeling is mutual. So why the apparent snub?

The Assumption of Inconvenience, of course.

Oh, let’s not bother Aunt T and Uncle A to have to make all the arrangements to be able to attend the Confirmation on a Monday night. They have enough on their plate already. Yada yada…

So, we will be missing yet another big event due to this misguided attempt to “help” us by excluding us.  Doesn’t it make so much more sense that if you’re so sympathetic to our plight, why not include us with an invitation and just be understanding if we do decline?

I really hate the the Assumption of Inconvenience.

Almost as much as the Snub of Intent or the Stranger’s Glare of Ignorance.

Drop Those Peeps You Pesky Wabbit! April 12, 2009

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism diet, Children, Parenting, special needs.
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3 comments

Ahh. Autism and Easter.

It’s hard enough to deal with the regular holiday stresses, and the challenge of the stiff clothes. When there’s a special needs kid in the house on a restrictive diet… like Fabio and his Specific Carbohydrate Diet… life is just that much more challenging on a day like Easter.

Sure I’ve done my share of almost heroic attempts at making a homemade candy or confection that is legal on this diet. Sometimes, they are even edible. Sort of.  But, I’ve burnt gallons of honey along the way too. I’ve made lollipops and marshmallows from scratch. I’ve made animal crackers, painstakingly cut into mini-animal shapes.  But Fabio never eats any of these things. Maybe it’s a texture thing. Maybe they just suck.

In any event, we have become a candy-free Easter house. And we like it. We have our own traditions that work for us and keep things stress-free. Well, you know what I mean…

“The Rabbit” …as my mom always referred to the Easter Bunny… always brought me stuff in an interesting, reusable container of sorts…but NEVER a basket. Things like a kiddie plastic wheelbarrow or, when I was older, those funky round holders for your stacks of 45 vinyl records…Oh my God, I am ancient!  (It’s true, the first time I saw a microwave was in college… and it took up that rich kid’s whole closet.)  Anyway, the tradition of “no baskets” continues in our home.

Daughter’s computer game and theater tickets and small trinkets are beautifully held by a funky painter’s style cap she can wear later. Fabio’s got a CARS pail full of garden tools, CARS die cast cars he’s been asking for, kooky pens, and a computer game he’ll love. No one will miss the basket… or the candy. 

The egg hunt for plastic eggs filled with coins, stickers, tattoos, and trinkets of the non-candy variety is yet another great tradition that we’ve gently tweaked to be sweet-free, but still fun.

I do confess that while shopping today, I bought a Lindt chocolate bunny specifically because 10 cents of my purchase (never mind that that one bunny came to freakin $8.00…) was being donated to autism research. It’s a win-win-win, right? Lindt gets $7.90. Autism gets 10 cents. I get another two pounds heavier. Can you say sarcasm? I don’t mean to sound like an ingrate, or to look a gift horse in the mouth, but can’t Lindt do a little better than one dime out of $8.00? Fine. I’ll be quiet now. In fact, you won’t get a “peep” out of me…literally!

So I am wishing you all a Happy Easter. One free of sugar rushes and allergic reactions to colors and dyes and other candy ingredients…or at least free of the stresses that often come with holidays. And for anyone who is so inclined, feel free to share your Easter traditions or tips for special needs family fun.