jump to navigation

Autism and the Teenager March 17, 2015

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism activities, autism diet, autism teen, humor, Parenting, special needs, specific carbohydrate diet.
Tags: , , ,
4 comments

He turned 13 this week. A teenager now.

Oh My God. How did this happen?

On one hand, I feel like it was yesterday when he was born, then diagnosed at almost 2. Maybe the fact that his autism had us locked into the “terrible twos” for ten years has something to do with my disbelief that my little man is now a teen. Yet on the other hand, I feel like I’m 102 and I can’t remember life before autism.

I had to laugh at all the Facebook friends who saw the birthday post that I have a teen… and started warning me to go out and buy hair color now. Hello? “Now”? “Now”, you say? Where have you been? Honey, I’ve been Clairol’s best customer for this whole 11 year ride. (Of course, I’ve been known to sport that gray “skunk stripe” more times than I’d like to recall when I didn’t have the time to get to the salon.)

Anyway, autism has grayed me, and aged me. And the teenage years to come scare me.

The hormones kicked in about a year ago, along with the teenage angst and the mustache. How is it that the kid has a mustache at 12 anyway? Seventh grade seems young to me for that. My boy. He is so gorgeous with his green eyes, slim build, long hair and ready smile. He could model…if only he could sit still and focus long enough.

I worry about his attraction to girls and their attraction to him. I see heartbreak and frustration coming. He isn’t “typical” enough for a relationship yet. Maybe someday. But he desperately wants to make connections and is trying so hard, though he lacks the conversational skills. His life-long desire to hug everyone, once cute, is getting awkward now as he grows to an already 5’4′ tall. Language is the one thing, no, the biggest thing, that prevents him from the breakthrough we all feel is right on the other side of that invisible wall.

He’s come so far though. I never thought he’d talk when he was first diagnosed. And while I can’t really yet imagine it, I am hopeful he will live a somewhat independent life someday. He takes dance and piano and acting lessons. He plays basketball, baseball and lacrosse on special needs teams. And in one of the greatest feats ever: He sang a two minute song…Do you Hear the People Sing from Les Miserables!…all alone with only an instrumental accompaniment while competing in a suit and tie in a local pageant on the stage of a large community theater. Massive accomplishment. Yet, he can’t hold a conversation.

You know what? Conversation is overrated. Today is a day to celebrate how far my wonderful teenager has come. And how bright his future will be. How bright all their futures will be.

* * * * * * * * * * *** * * * *

Brag on: What has your child accomplished that you never thought he/she would? Or what do you fear your child will never accomplish?

Advertisements

Finding Time to Blog on Autism May 21, 2013

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism diet, Children, humor, Parenting, special education, special needs, specific carbohydrate diet.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

your-are-late

Oh. My. God.

I am so sorry… and so stoked… at the same time.

I don’t have to tell you why I fell off the blog bandwagon because you “get it”. Autism gets in the way of so many things. Including blogging.

Days fly by. Then weeks and years follow. And before you know it, your little “Fabio” is 11 and ready to graduate fifth grade and go to Middle School next year.  I simply can’t believe the time has passed. And yet I look so young. Not!

I’m not sure if any of my original followers are still out there, but I’d love to hear if you are and to catch up on how your not-so-little ones are doing!

The good news is that I’ve tried many new things for my little man and will be able to share that all with you. He is still on the SCD (Specific Carbohydrate Diet) and that’s 8 years now! I never thought I could keep up this maniacal pace of cooking and baking everything he eats for so long now. But I have. With the popularity of Paleo and Primal diets, SCD is easier than ever as many of those recipes fit SCD or can easily be adapted to comply.

I am looking forward to being here more often. You see, I blog for a living for some really wonderful doctors (part of what makes it hard to blog for pleasure). But here, I only have you guys to answer to, and I don’t have to weigh Every. Single. Word. I can just let it spill from the heart. Or from the gut. Whatever it happens to be that day. Uncensored “stim talk”.

Before I dive in, are there any questions? Any issues you’re having I can help with?

I can’t wait to start sharing all the funny things, the inspiring things, the ugly things…come on, it’s real autism here not the sugar-coated version. Also, there are the therapies like NAET, Braincore and HBOT. And the school and extracurricular stories. And the cursing…

Puberty is coming. Lord, help me.

It’ll be a blast. I promise.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***

Who are you? Tell me about your little one.

 

Autism and the Holy Communion April 16, 2011

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism diet, humor, religion, special education, special needs.
Tags: , , , ,
5 comments

It was a tough year of religious education with “C”. Many cold and snowy Saturday mornings. Many bouts of his OCD with the doors making me crazy. One sweet old doormat lady 1:1 volunteer who was totally useless ill-prepared for working with an autistic kid.

There are 3 special ed boys making their communion this year out of the class of 12 kids. Because of his many food allergies, there would be gluten free Jesus on the big day! Thank God…I thought I’d have to make my own Jesus and have to admit I wouldn’t know where to begin.

Out of all these kids, mine is the only one known to the parish priests. No, not because I was a good Catholic who brought him to Church every week so he’d get used to it. I didn’t. I was weak. I caved to the public “skunk eye” pressure after one incident where he threw up down my back after a crying fit at Mass as a toddler. Yes, you can get the skunk eye in Church.

They know me, my husband, and our son because our daughter has attended the parish school for 8 years. And since I am one of those parents who volunteers for everything up at the school, they know us well. Which makes the following tale even harder to tell.

Cut to the Communion rehearsals.

The doormat, bless her heart, has no control over “C”. (He immediately sized her up last fall and zeroed in on her weaknesses. She was doomed.) I decide not to intervene to see if she could guide him through this rehearsal. Big mistake.

You see, “C” is obsessed with doors, so just getting him to walk into the church (instead of repeatedly opening and closing the big glass entry doors) is tough. Of course, if you blow that, you’re sunk and he will spiral into a fit of non-compliance. The other problem is that his sister acts in local community theater, so to him, the altar’s raised, 4-step platform is just a big stage calling to him. Loudly. And he can’t pass a stage. Not without bowing, anyway.

So, he breaks away and goes up on the altar! He is taking a bow to imaginary applause. He is even holding his arm up and out behind him, like stage actors do to give props to the pit orchestra. Just great…

Now it becomes apparent that I have to go get him down. As I head toward him with the look of death a serious face, he runs behind the altar and, looking up at the 80 foot tall crucifix hanging above him, blurts out “SUM OF A B-I-I-I-I-T-T-C-H”.

Could you freakin die? Seriously.

And I’m standing up there asking myself what the hell I was thinking putting myself him through this sacrament. Sure it’s funny now. It really is.  I have my own issues with God and the “why my son?” thing. So why is it that this Communion is so important to me, I wondered, while dragging my holy terror off the altar in a headlock.

The second rehearsal was more of the same. With a sprinkling of him declaring to the congregation “Face it. I’m just not good in church!” Ugh.

So when Communion day arrived, I was a wreck. I’d warned the handful of family and close friends (who still don’t really get it) of how bad it could be, in the custom invitation I’d sent out. I worried big time about the fancy navy blue suit, crisp white dress shirt, and (gasp!) tie and (another gasp!) dress shoes. He is, after all, a kid who can (and does) undress himself in 5 seconds or less, every chance he gets. I envisioned him coming down the aisle barefoot,  in his wifebeater undershirt. I also worried he’d spit out the “church food” as he called it. Yep. Church food.

Turns out, he made a fool out of me. Walked down the aisle like a GQ model down a runway. I mean, he really worked it. He sat through the whole four hour Mass like an angel. And when it was time to receive his gluten free Jesus, he was precious. Took a couple little bites and swallowed hard like they were stuck in his throat. I had his shoulder in the Vulcan death grip the whole time, but his curiosity over the church food trumped the appeal of the stage. Take that, you Skunk Eyes.

God truly has a sense of humor.

Wearing Blue for Autism April 2, 2011

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism.
Tags: , , , , ,
2 comments

What better day to blog about autism than National Autism Day? And what better day to wear blue to show your support of those affected by this horrible epidemic?

My little man is nine. Just turned nine, in fact. And the whole family is wearing blue for him today. In fact, so is our facebook community of friends and family.

But we’re not stopping there. We’ve got blue Christmas lights hanging…no, these are newly hung.  (I may be late to take down the tree, but I’m not a redneck who keeps the Christmas lights on all year!)

We should all try to raise awareness this month since, sadly, its the only 15 minutes of fame we get each year. Let’s all make the most of it.

We feel blue all year.Let’s wear blue this month. Surround ourselves with it. Wear bracelets, get car magnets. Blue for all our little boys (and for our girls!).

I’ve been quiet in here, but I’m back. And I have amazing stories to share, so come back again.

Today is a new day.

Autism: Birthday Party or No Birthday Party? March 10, 2010

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, Family, Parenting, special needs.
Tags: , , ,
29 comments

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Time to plan Fabio’s birthday party. He wants an indoor pool party (we still have snow here).

And I won’t even get into how bothered I am by the fact that he’s turning EIGHT. Where did all that time go? And yet, sometimes it feels like he should be 20 because he’s been 2 for about 10 years…

As I was making out the short guest list, I realized that only one of the kids who had autism had had a party of his own and even that kid just had one or two. And its not a financial thing. The moms, all of whom I know well and for at least 3 years, offer these reasons:

1. He doesn’t “get”  the birthday party concept, so why spend the time and money?

2. He doesn’t “get” the presents thing.

3. He doesn’t interact with his peers, so why bother if he won’t even notice anyone’s there.

4. I can’t predict how he’ll behave on that day and if he’s “off”, then it’ll all be a waste.

5. I’m tired of family or friends complaining that he doesn’t come up to them. They don’t get it and I have no patience.

6. He won’t know what he’s missing.

On one hand, I can relate to a lot of what they feel. And yet, even with hesitation, I booked the party today. For this Saturday. (Not too last minute, right?)

Maybe I’m just wishful, but I think Fabio does understand that kids should have a birthday celebration. And I think I’d be sad if the only cake was the one at the dinner table with just the four of us. Is it just that I can’t let the dream of typical die? Maybe. And I’d beat myself up with Italian guilt if I did actually hurt his feelings by not having a party with his peers. But that’s me and it’s what I hope is right for my son.

I’d love to know what others think about having traditional birthday parties for their autistic kids. Do you or don’t you? Do you do it only for your typical kids? And what about the guests: a mix of typical and special needs children or not? What kind of party do you have (ie pool, bowling, etc.)?

Share your thoughts here.

Autism Diet Challenge: Just Try It! March 1, 2010

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism diet, Children, Health, Parenting, specific carbohydrate diet.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,
1 comment so far

Right off the bat I want to warn you that I am sticking my neck out here in an effort to save the world, instead of  just worrying about helping my own son. And I’m sure someone is going to make me regret that I did, but I’m going for it so I can sleep at night…

Ok. I try to be open-minded, and I love a good debate. And I really try to be respectful of other people’s opinions when they differ from mine.

But if I’m being truly honest with myself, I need to face this one pet peeve I have that sort of deviates from what I just said.

I can’t for the life of me understand why parents won’t at least TRY an autism diet to see if it would help their child!

Let’s examine some top reasons why people won’t try it:

1. There’s no proof it works, and recently, there have been reports that say it doesn’t.

To that I say: Not everything, especially something like the implementation of a diet and it’s affect on behavior, can be adequately tested in a study. Is there anyone out there who wouldn’t trust their own gut and eyes over a medical report? Let’s not forget how many decades the government and medical establishment let us go on thinking cigarettes weren’t harmful…

2. It’s too expensive.

Yes, it is more expensive in the sense that you will spend more money on food for a special diet than a mainstream diet… unless of course your regular diet is one of take-out food. But, if your child felt better and behaved better, wouldn’t that be worth the cost? Maybe you’d offset the diet’s cost with the money you might save on other treatments that may now not be needed.

3. It’s too hard to do.

It is hard, at first. And at times, like parties and holidays. But parties and holidays with a wild child are hard too. What if the diet helped your child and you and he could enjoy the party for a change? In time, the diet  just becomes a part of life and that’s how you’d have to look at it. Look at it as a lifestyle choice, not a diet. Otherwise, like all diets, it’ll be doomed to fail. 

4. I can’t imagine “doing this to him” for his whole life!

First of all, take small steps. Tell yourself you’ll just give it a real try for 30 days. And then give it a real, honest try. Even when it’s difficult. And it will be hard at first…especially if it is working! No cheating. You will know in 30 days if there’s some noticeable improvement in your child. And when you see that change, that is where the strength to continue the diet comes from. And support groups online. For me, I saw improvements in my son within 2 weeks, but it took about 18 months on the diet before his gut healed enough that he finally had a formed stool…just days before his scheduled colonoscopy and endoscopy, thank God.

In my son’s case, we were fortunate enough to have very specialized labwork done through an autism study he was involved in (lab work you can’t just order from a local lab) and we KNOW he has some mutations and can not digest the proteins in certain foods. In fact, his body breaks them down into harmful opiates, which, when released into the bloodstream, travel to the brain and contribute to the autistic behaviors. For me, feeding him the typical American diet is like feeding him poison. What if your child has that kind of mutation, but you don’t know it?

5. He won’t eat that food. He’s picky.

Okay, who is the parent here? This is the time to get tough.  And the earlier you implement a diet, the easier it is to do. My son was just turning 3 and you have more control at a younger age. Plus the diet will be well established by the time he starts school and he won’t even remember McDonald’s nuggets, so he won’t long for them, though he may be curious about them.

Think of those processed foods as the enemy. Most kids are picky eaters. It’s in your hands whether you are going to let your kid’s chosen 4 favorites be healthy ones or not. If you stick to your guns, your child will eventually give in since his survival instinct will make him eat this way if that’s all you offer. Plus, some kids are actually addicted to foods their bodies are craving because bacteria in their guts need those foods to live. If that’s the case in your child, you need to break that cycle by depriving the bacteria from feeding. You do that by eating differently. You starve the bacteria and they die. And the gut heals.

6. It’s not healthy.

Come on. How balanced do you think the typical American diet of chicken nuggets, hot dogs and pizza is? With so many children becoming obese and diabetic, these diets are actually a gift of health that you can give to your child.

Even adults would do well on this diet. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet that my son is on has been helping celiacs, Crohns and IBS patients for over 50 years. Have you noticed how middle aged folks are suddenly unable to tolerate dairy or gluten? I’ve been told it’s because our bodies haven’t evolved fast enough to keep up with the processing of the foods we eat today. We so-called healthy people can’t break down these chemically-processed foods. How can our children then?

Under the supervision of a medical professional and with the proper nutritional supplementation if needed, these diets can resolve intestinal and digestive problems that you may not even realize your child is suffering from. Don’t you want to feed your child a diet that makes him or her feel their best?

7. My child doesn’t have any food allergies or sensitivites so he doesn’t need the diet.

Maybe. Maybe not. A doctor can give a diagnosis. But a mother’s instinct says a lot, too… if she knows what to look for. Does your child have any of the red flag signs of an allergy or sensitivity…such as red cheeks, skin rashes/eczema, dark or reddish circles under their eyes? Maybe constipation or diahhrea? Does he eat certain few foods to the exclusion of most others…almost like an addict? Can’t sleep at night?

8. I don’t know where to start.

First, find a doctor who supports autism diets. A recommendation from a friend is best, but failing that, look for a DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor or chiropractor. Allergists and immunologists with autism practices may be able to help you. Some, but few, pediatricians may too. Be sure they have experience with autism diets.

Do some research. There’s a few different diets out there. The best one (in my opinion only) is the Specific Carbohydrate Diet  my son has been on for 5 years and you can learn all about it by reading the fascinating book Breaking the Vicious Cycle by Elaine Gottschall. SCD is like GF/CF to the extreme since it allows no grain at all and my challenge is to try this diet for 30 days if you think you can handle it! (For more info, see the Autism Diet Help tab in this blog). But there’s also regular GF/CF (gluten free/casein free) diets and the Feingold Diet.

****I’ve always been an advocate of therapies that may improve the lives of our autistic children …so long as they do not have the potential for harm. These diets are healthy ways of eating for anyone. There is no harm if a doctor is on board with any nutritional supplementation. It may not make any difference in your child’s behavior, but it won’t hurt him or you to try it. 

But what if it helps him? What if it even recovers him?

Can you live with yourself if you didn’t take that chance? It could be the simplest of answers. Just 30 days to see if it may help. You don’t need Jenny McCarthy or me to tell you. You will know if it’s helping. And if it’s not, go off it with the peace of mind of knowing you gave it a real try, instead of living with the nagging wonder if you should do it.

By April 1st, those persistent red cheeks and shiners could be gone. Maybe even some language. Please trust me and just try it. And come back and let me know how it went!

What has your experience been with autism diets? I want the good, the bad, and the ugly…

Autism: One step forward, two steps back February 25, 2010

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, Health, Parenting, special needs.
Tags: , , , , ,
1 comment so far

What was that saying from science class?

Something like “for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”. Well, I think there’s some real truth in that…especially when applying it to kids with Autism.

Take my kid, for instance.

Every time he has a big break-through in language development, it’s accompanied by an equally big setback in behavior. Seriously, every time one positive gain is noticeable, so is the accompanying glaring setback.

Do you notice that in your kids?

It’s almost like the section of the brain that gets fired up and starts cranking out new language suddenly sucks up all of the brain’s total energy supply so that it can fuel the language burst. Like it steals the energy from the other parts, leaving the part of the brain that’s responsible for behavior depleted and gasping for air.

Leaving me with a little monster… who. won’t. stop. talking.

I’m not complaining about the talking. After all, I repeatedly promised … in countless late night secret bargains with God… that I’d never complain about how much Fabio talked or anything that might someday come out of his mouth  if God would just let him become verbal.  And I am so thankful.

But the frustration over dealing with behaviors resurfacing after you thought they were gone for good can be overwhelming. Why does nearly every milestone have to come with a price tag? Isn’t there ever a win-win?

So, with little choice in the matter, we wait it out. We wait for the balance in the brain to be restored and the energy to flow evenly. We wait for the language to take root and the behaviors to level off.

For we know that when this little maniac transforms back into his more manageable self, he will be one more step further along in his journey from a simple exchange to a conversation.

Autism is like the Olympics February 24, 2010

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, autism diet, Children, Health, Parenting.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,
add a comment

The Thrill of Victory…and the Agony of Defeat.

My last post was clearly a thrill of victory one.

This one  is more of an agony of defeat kind.

Been going through a rough patch with Fabio. I recently messed with his diet in one of my very rare attempts to broaden it ever so slightly. Nothing crazy or not permitted. Just some things high in salicylates, which he is kind of sensitive to…so we avoid them for long stretches of time and then periodically attempt to reintroduce them.

That attempt sadly sent my little guy over the cliff just like that Olympic skiier whose famous wipe-out in the 70’s lived on for decades as the “face” of the agony of defeat.

He’s been having trouble in school attending to his work and focusing. He’s been aggressive and often full of rage when the slightest demands are put upon him.

During the never-ending month long week the kids were just off from school, I finally took him to the DAN chiro, who took one look at his eyes and said, “What did you do to his diet?” Then he looked at my eyes, full of tears. All I could blurt out before they ran over was “One of us needs medication.”

Every minute of every day so often, I second-guess myself about the choices we’ve made regarding Fabio’s care. The natural/holistic autism course we’ve taken. But deep down, I think it was right … for us.  Is right, for us. To me, it is more important that we do no harm. Even if the choice means that he doesn’t advance as far, as fast. It’s so easy to imagine that the other road would have lead to a happier place when we hit a bump in the one that we’re on.

So …to continue with my cheesy sports analogies…we’ve decided to stay the course. When the going gets tough, the tough get going …  I’ve removed all of the offending additions from his diet, and finally after a freakin week of insanity am now seeing  my happy little man emerging from the edge of the cliff he’d gone over.

So I’m forced to face that as Fabio’s coach and biggest fan, I can dictate the course of his daily routine and diet, guide him as best I can, and cheer loudly from the sidelines as he works so much harder than the average person, day in and day out. I can triumph in his victories and cry over his setbacks along the way. I can help make him the best that he can be. But there are factors out there that I can not control. All any of us can ask of ourselves …and those we love …is to try our best.

And if he doesn’t get on the podium this year, there is always next time. Training begins hard… again… tomorrow.

Autism and the School Play February 18, 2010

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, Parenting, school, special education, special needs, specific carbohydrate diet, Uncategorized.
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
6 comments

“He’s going to be a horse.”

The note came home from his second grade teacher. The play he’s been working so hard for since October in his mainstream Music class was rapidly approaching.

A HORSE??

What the heck kind of play is this? Is it all horses? Is the horse a central character? And most importantly…can the show go on if the horse runs away?!

The note continues. “Must wear solid black, brown, or tan. A headpiece will be provided.”

HEADPIECE?!

You’re freakin kidding, right? Ok. Now, I’m starting to sweat. What kind of headpiece are we talkin about here? Doesn’t matter. I don’t see him even trying it on, much less wearing it for a 30 minute production.

Thirty minutes?

What are the odds of Fabio and his one other autistic classmate making it through this mainstream version of “The Tortoise and the Hare”…with about 35 other “typical” second graders?

Thirty minutes of standing in place on risers, many musical numbers with hand and arm gestures, taking turns, NOT running away, even in the face of all those parents and grandparents and their camcorders…and all the noise.

To date, Fabio has had bad experiences with stages. Graduation from his special needs program right before kindergarten didn’t go well. He was miserable, wouldn’t wear the cap, and was melting in the gown. And he refused to go up for his diploma. One of only 3 kids who wouldn’t. Ditto in two award ceremonies for reading since then.

But time has passed since those events. And Fabio has also had a chance to see his sister perform in several concerts and live theater productions in the community. He goes to the shows, sits nicely, and gives her flowers at the end. And he loves music. Maybe this would be different.

I figured I’d better prepare him in advance for the idea that we’d be coming to see this play. So a few days beforehand, while he and I were laying in my bed relaxing before bedtime,  I said in my happy but not too excited voice, “Mommy and Daddy can’t wait to come and see you be a horse in the show.”

“No.”

“Well, um, yes, honey. We are going to come see you just like the other mommies and daddies of your friends. Ok?”

“No.”

Time for a new approach. “Honey, Mommy and Daddy want to come see you just like we come see Nic (Sister) in her shows. We are so happy and proud of you and want to come see your play. And we’ll bring you a present.”

I see the wheels turning as he considers this. I brace myself for the request. Surely he’ll ask for some costly toy…

“Bring flowers.”

Did I hear that right? Flowers? For a school production? For a boy? Well, why the hell not! You got it, bud. And I secretly applauded his connection between his play and his sister’s plays and the ritual of giving flowers.

So we grabbed the camcorder, special treats for the after-party that he could eat on his diet, and of course, the freakin flowers, and we hurried off into the snowy morning traffic to get good seats for whatever was in store for us. And we waited. All the “typical” kids came in and took their places. All the kids in the classes of those kids came in and took their places.  All those kids’ parents and grandparents came in and took their places.

Where is he?

Then, bringing up the rear… like a cowboy hearding cattle… marched my “horse” with the horse headband on! He went right to his spot on the riser. The music began.

He was perfect. PERFECT. He was typical. In fact, he was better than typical. No one there would ever have guessed that he or his classmate beside him had autism.

I started to cry. My husband started to cry. His teachers and aides started to cry. His former teachers who came out in the snow from other schools and from maternity leave just to see him…started to cry. And for about 30 minutes we all watched in awe as he did every single thing just right. And he radiated happiness. The little black horse with the headpiece on his head.

And when it was over and the tears were dried, that little horse rode off into the hallway… carrying flowers like a champion.

Autism and the Nursery Witch October 19, 2009

Posted by hopeauthority in Autism, Children, Family, Health, special needs.
Tags: , , , , , ,
add a comment

No sooner did I wrap my mind around the first article with the big jump in autism stats…1 in 100 instead of 1 in 150…but right on it’s heels comes the latest figures. 1 in 91.

1 in 91.

Anyone else feeling sick?

It brings a recurrent and ridiculous vision to my mind.  I am standing outside the glass of an insanely large maternity ward, looking in at rows and rows of newborns… with their cute smooshed faces and their arms tightly tucked into their cocoon-like wraps. Soft little beanies of pink and blue atop misshapen little heads. There’s about 100 of them all lined up. Or should I say 91 of them.

And like some sick, twisted fairy tale, there’s a witch hovering over one of those beanies…a blue one… casting a frightening spell that will manifest itself in about 18-22 months, upon the happening of a certain event.

I want to shoo the witch away, but I am too late. I want to hear what she is chanting, but the glass is too thick. I need to know what will trigger the spell to come to pass.  Some environmental toxin? Some vaccine? Some seemingly safe food that wreaks havoc on the digestive and immune systems…not too far off from the poison apple?

There are still days that I can’t believe that my blue beanie was the one.

I remember shortly after Fabio was diagnosed 5 1/2 years ago…before I told anyone but the closest  family and friends… I was at a carnival and spotted a woman with a boy about 5 years old. She wore a tee shirt with all the stats about autism on its back dating  from the time it was 1 in 10,000 until the present. At that time, the most recent stats were 1 in 250.  It cryptically stated: “Your child could be next”.  I could not take my eyes off her, her child, or her shirt.

Back then, I was haunted by that shirt and so worried about my son’s future. I still worry about his future…every day as a matter of fact. But the idea that the numbers of children being diagnosed with ASD are rising too quickly to even make up such a tee shirt…now that’s a scary thing. 

At this rate, it’ll be 1 in 75 by Christmas.

Someone really needs to kill that nursery witch. Fast. The survival of all our beanies depends on it.